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So tragically, lawless, mass gun violence struck again this past week in our nation. I pray for the healing and salvation of the grieving families who lost loved ones along with survivors that do not know Jesus Christ. In the same week the evil concocted theme, “Battle Of The Sexes” is in theatres, I was greatly impressed former NFL player, Ray Rice, sat with his wife, Janay, here in Portland to speak out against the more common domestic violence. When the 2014 video of him hitting his wife in an elevator made national news, I hoped for this day and said so in radio interviews. Domestic violence concerns me because contrary to the slander of some, I am not a misogynist as anyone who reads my book, The Strong Man Of God: Back To Basics and the blogs I have written will see.
My God inspired cause to restore men as His appointed leaders in the home, churches and larger society (if it would receive it) does not equal toleration for or condoning male abuse of anyone. In the image of Christ, the aspiring strong man of God understands abuse is evil. In my book and Strong Man Minute radio spots such as “Girls,” and “Women: God’s Gift To Men,” I transparently share my shame over being violent out of anger issues in my youth before becoming a Christian.1 After becoming a developing believer, I still struggled with the anger fed tendency to be too physical as many men in the churches until the Lord set me free (another benefit of restoring men) as I write about in this 2012 Commentary I am posting for this week’s blog.2
Originally Published October 2012
No honest discussion of violence in America, indeed, the world, could be conducted without also including the tragedy of violence against women by men. While as a matter of addressing domestic violence, women do assault men, the number of such incidences is very small compared to male on female assaults and murder. Interestingly, even in this epoch of the woman created and championed by feminists from all persuasions, violence against women has continued unabated. God is not pleased about this nor should any aspiring strong man of God in the image of Christ! Truly, we are required--as did our Lord--to protect our weaker partners (John 12:3-8; 1 Peter 3:7).
Before getting too far into this Commentary, let me quickly state that I come to this subject with the due humility of past guilt and shame in having been a male starting as a teenager, that has unleashed violence upon females. No, as I write about in my book, The Strong Man Of God, Back To Basics, I have never hit my wife of over thirty years. However, I have experienced the kind of anger that as a teenager with little self-control led to my striking a few of the females I was coupled up with. Also, in complete transparency, out of that same often, quick anger I have fought other males and struck or disciplined my children as a father. Much of what is behind violence is anger.
My quick anger is one of many personal flaws that are the result of a sinful nature and “type A” personality inherited from my mother in particular. Even so, I watched helplessly as a little boy while my father beat up my mother after repeated warnings to stop assailing him verbally (and sometimes physically) on a number of occasions including holidays where alcohol fueled things. I became very angry with dad for hurting mom, but reserved my greatest anger for her because I clearly saw how so often she provoked him. It was not hard for me thereafter, as a seething hot head and bully, to start fighting males and dealing out violence upon females.
Violence and murder are the next recorded displays of sin after Adam's original fall in the Bible. Cain rose up violently against and murdered his own brother, Abel (Genesis 4:1-8). For all we know Cain's act was premeditated (examine Genesis 4:6-8 carefully). Regardless, note that Cain was angry (vs. 6). Again, whether it is quick rising, simmering or buried internally as bitterness, anger plays a major role in violence; some of which leads to murder. This is why that when alcohol and/or drugs are added to the mix loosening inhibitions and self-control, violence is a natural result. Cain's anger driven murder brought God's judgment and left a legacy (Genesis 4:9-24).
The Lord Jesus Christ also made the connection between anger in all of its forms and violence as He gave greater light behind the command of God not to murder in Matthew 5:21-22. The Lord places the person angry without a cause in the same peril of divine judgment as the murderer. However, even with cause (provocation), acting on that anger in just calling folk names was subject to judicial reprimand and/or dispatch to the lake of fire. In other words, sin influenced human anger in the divine assessment is very serious because of how it can lead to escalating evil including violence and murder (Ephesians 4:26-27, 31-32). Truly, violence does not easily arise from a tender heart.
As sinful creatures, separated from God, it has been easy historically since Cain for men to bully, batter and murder women. Since they are naturally physically smaller and weaker generally speaking, bigger and stronger men in sin use violence or the threat of it to impose their will. It has been an oppressive, tyrannical headship sinful men from all cultures have exercised over their female partners and in the natural, I understand why given the opportunity in these last days, women have risen up in protest and rebellion. However, as rising domestic violence reports confirm, this, or jails are not fixing men or women as sinners, which is the real problem according to God's Word.
The remedy for reducing domestic violence is life change through the power of God in the Gospel and the Holy Spirit as well as teaching men from His Word their proper roles and responsibilities. As aspiring strong men of God in the image of Christ, for example, we men are to cherish our wives as our own bodies. No sane man harms his own body (Ephesians 5:28-29). Those with anger issues like I had own them to God in repentance and seek deliverance along with renewal through the Holy Spirit (Romans 6:12-13, 8:12-13; Galatians 5:16-25). Also, let aspiring great women of God respect their husbands at all times (Ephesians 5:33; 1 Peter 3:1-6). The risen, living Christ continues His cry among American churches, "Who is on the Lord's side?"
1 Listen to the Strong Man Minute Web edition here.
2 I speak a little more about the Lord’s work to deliver me from anger bondage in part 2 of the March 6, 2016 blog, When The Messengers Are Bound, under the categories, Black History and The Cause.
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